Where do I stand with BCCNS?

The eyes have it. I met with another specialist this past Tuesday. This surgeon is an eye reconstruction specialist. He is one of only 300 in the US. 

Now I feel really special. I have had a few days to brew over my discussion with him. So today I can objectively look at what needs to happen. Tuesday night through Wednesday not so much. 

Here's the deal. Every surgery I have is using local numbing agents. I hate needles. I try to stay in my happy place while enduring the 30 -50 sticks it takes through out the procedures to keep me pain free. 

Now we are talking about removing cancer from my eyelids. Due to the progression of the disease on my eyelids we will have to do one eyelid at a time. My forehead will have to be a separate procedure. Each eyelid and my forehead will also have to undergo independent reconstruction procedures as well. That is six surgeries to deal with my eyes. In the photograph, you cannot even see all the basal cells. Some are so small they will get the laser treatment during reconstruction. Another new discovery. On my left eye there is that pronounced bump. I assumed that was basal. Of course not. One of the symptoms all be it rare to BCCNS is this cyst type growth in the eyelid. The one that is pronounced is calcified and will get surgically removed from the inside of my eyelid during reconstruction. There are 3 total that will be dealt with at the time we do reconstruction.

 

 

Wed. am after not much sleep

The goal in May was to get my head and face clear before the end of the year. In doing the math I have four surgery days left. However, my eyes require 6 procedures and I still have 6 areas on my scalp that need attention. This all came to me in a mental overload Tuesday evening. 

I am a woman of faith. Yet I managed to break all my own rules. I took my eyes off all the blessings I have had so far and landed in a self induced valley full of fear, doubt and anger over my situation.

Thank God my eye specialist is pleasant mannered and nice to look at. No worries my husband is the one that told me to count this as a blessing. If you have to be nose to nose with someone for 30 minutes at a time it does not hurt.

Take Away Nugget: When you find yourself in deep water. God doesn't intend for you to drown. He expects you to be cleansed.